


Hearing You Breathe (Is The Only Way I Can Sleep)

by skinnysteeb



Series: Stucky Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Very Small Angst, super soldiers cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:25:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7663009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skinnysteeb/pseuds/skinnysteeb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr Prompt: Person A sneakily gets in Person B’s bed when they are fast asleep. In the morning though, when Person B woke up and mistook Person A as a stranger, they push them very hard, this of course wakes up Person A. Person B realizes who it was. They immediately ran up to them and asked if they’re okay, throwing apologies here and there. After a good scolding, Person A and B go back to bed to cuddle.                                Person A: Steve						Person B: Bucky</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hearing You Breathe (Is The Only Way I Can Sleep)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovely readers, this is my first fic so sorry if it isn't that good. Feel free to give me tips on how to improve and I would love to receive some comments.

    _The wind howls past his ears as he creeps along the fragile bar that’s keeping him attached to the train. He can see Bucky dangling ahead and he reaches out for him, just managing to brush their hands together before they’re pulled apart once more. “Grab my hand,” he can hear himself shouting, but it sounds distant lost in the wind and sound of his heart slamming against his rib cage. He can’t lose Bucky, not like this, not when he knows he’s the one responsible. He reaches out again but to no avail, the bar Bucky was holding onto collapses and he starts to fall. Time seems to slows down and Steve feels himself start to fall too, but instead of following his friend down he grabs onto the train. When he looks back Bucky has already fallen way out of reach, yet Steve can still make out the fear on his face as he screams. A sound that drowned out even the wind in Steve’s mind. The memory of that moment quickly sears itself into Steve’s memory and he feels, rather than hears, the screaming sob that rips through him, his body shaking as he breaks down while clinging to the side of the train. All he could think was “you should’ve fallen too, you should’ve dropped down after him but instead you saved yourself. He always puts you first, he always took care of you, and this is how you repay him. He’s gone and it’s all your fault, he died protecting you. You killed him, your best friend, the person that you lo-”_

      Steve sat up in a cold sweat, his heart pounding and his breathing coming in in short breaths. His eyes are unfocused and haunted as the memory/nightmare continues to play out behind his eyes; the Howlies finding him still clinging to the fragile rail, how they had to pull him back into the train as he sobbed, Peggy trying to give him a pep talk after finding him in the bombed pub, and himself almost relieved at having to crash the plane so that he doesn’t have to live without his best friend. Minutes pass, though it could’ve been hours, and Steve slowly returns to himself, his pulse slowing down and his eyes focusing. Once settled he glances at the clock, 3:00 am, it was going to be a long night. He flopped back down with a sigh tossing and turning as he tried to get back to sleep, but after a half hour or so he admits defeat and gets up. He sneaks out of his room and pads across the hall slowly opening the door that leads to Bucky’s room. When Bucky first came home he would wake Steve up almost every night with his night terrors, now it seemed like Steve was the only one still having trouble adjusting. It’s been 2 years since the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., a year since Bucky got back into contact with him, and 6 months since he showed up at Steve’s apartment. Steve didn’t know what period of that year and a half was worse, when he didn’t know anything about where Bucky was or when Bucky went to Natasha instead of him. He told him after getting back that he went to Nat because he didn’t think he deserved Steve anymore t(which broke his heart, if anything it was the other way around), but the thought that Bucky didn’t trust him made those 6 months hell. Now Bucky had almost all of his memories back and his mental health is constantly improving. Of course he’s far from ok, that would take years of hard work, but his night terrors were down to only once or twice a month and he was even leaving the apartment without prompting now. There were still plenty of bad days but things were looking up for Bucky, so of course Steve had to start falling apart. The second his mind wasn’t occupied with how Bucky was doing his own problems started to return, resulting in a lot of nights like this. Steve hadn’t gotten a full night's sleep in a long time, finding that he needed to check on Bucky multiple times after waking up in order to calm his anxiety. Lately he had even taken to entering Bucky’s room and just watching him breathe, which was not creepy… at all (Privately Steve thought it was a testament to how far Bucky had come that he was able to sleep through Steve being in his room, at first just about any noise would wake him and cause him to lash out).

      Steve tried to just stand in the doorway, he swears he did, but eventually the knot in his stomach was too much and he enters the room crossing to crouch by the side of his bed. He sat watching Bucky breathe for a while only to realize this nightmare must have thrown him off more than he thought. Even his current proximity to Bucky wasn’t dissipating the knot of anxiety he felt. With a frustrated huff he got up and sat on the side of Bucky’s bed, even though Bucky was huge now he always slept curled up, like he’s trying to make himself as small as possible. Steve runs a hand through his now shoulder length hair, enjoying the way sleeping Bucky seems to press into it, before lying down beside him. He rolls onto his side so he can watch Bucky’s breathing, occasionally reaching out to reassure himself that Bucky’s still there. Just a few more minutes he tells himself, but soon Steve’s drifting off fast asleep.

* * * * * *

      A strong kick to the stomach sends Steve over the side of the bed, dazed he makes to get up, only for a figure to land on top of him knocking him back to the ground. He’s flat on his back with someone straddling his hips, it takes him longer than it should for him to realize it’s Bucky. Shit is his first thought how am I supposed to explain this? Of course his second thought is about the hands that have landed around his neck with a growl. “Hey Buck, come on it’s just me, it’s just Steve.” The words come out choked but they’re enough to bring the assassin out of his sleep haze. He quickly throws himself off of Steve and seemingly across the room, and Steve waits for his breathing to go back to normal before scooting over to him.

      “I’m sorry Steve, I’m so so sorry I didn’t see that it was you, just that someone was in my bed and instinct just kind of kicked in, I didn’t know that it was you,” He rambled on but Steve cut him off.

      “Hey Buck it’s ok I’m fine, it’s my fault ok? Not your fault.” He threw an arm over his shoulders pulling him into his side.

      “What were you even doing in here Steve, you know I’m dangerous when I sleep.” That just made Steve shake his head.

      “You’re not dangerous, especially when you’re asleep. You know you curl up into a small ball right?”

      “That doesn’t answer why you were in here, and don’t try to change the subject.” Steve stiffened up a little as he tried to think of a decent excuse, embarrassed by the real reason he came in here.

      “Ah Buck it doesn’t matter come on, let’s go get breakfast.” He stood up and made to leave the room but Bucky grabbed his arm.

      “Steve come on talk to me, you think I haven’t noticed the bags under your eyes? Haven’t heard you going around the apartment most nights? My doors usually opened instead of closed when I wake up in the morning, so I know you’ve been checking up in on me.”

      “Bucky come on it’s nothing-”

      “Don’t tell me it’s nothing Steve I’m worried, you’re not sleeping and you’re eating less, it’s like you’re fading away.”

      “Fine it was a nightmare, nothing unusual, I shouldn’t have come in I’m sorry.” The words were monotone and Steve’s gaze was focused on the floor, but it was all that Steve was willing to admit right now. At least Bucky seemed semi satisfied with his answer, giving him a quick nod and a smile.

      “Good now let’s go back to bed.” Steve just gaped at him, and it took him a second to respond.

      “Both of us?” It came out soft and Bucky just shot him an affectionate look that made it clear he thought Steve was an idiot.

      “It’s 6:00 Steve I’m going back to sleep and since this is the first time I’ve seen you sleep for more than 2 hours you’re coming with me.” He says it with a lazy grin on his face before climbing back into bed. He pats the bed besides him when Steve continues just to stand in the center of the room, but Steve just stood there his thoughts going all over the place. It’s like he’s suddenly back before the war, too small for his big mouth and his heart constantly in his throat when Bucky was around, back when they used to share a twin sized bed and always ended up curling up together so that there was room. It was those times that Steve was almost happy for his long list of maladies, because he could blame his increased heart rate on his heart defect (Bucky didn’t need to know that that wasn’t an actual side effect), and the way he always cuddled closer than necessary on the fact that he was cold. There were always ways to cover up the truth, but the fact of the matter was that Steve was head over heels for his best friend. Still is, even though Bucky’s different now he’s still his Bucky at the core. Bucky pats the bed louder this time, breaking Steve out of his thoughts. This time it even manages to spur Steve into action and he climbs into the bed, carefully getting under the covers and arranging himself so he’s next to Bucky but not touching him. Bucky just rolls his eyes at Steve’s actions. “I’m not gonna bite, well probably not.” Steve rolled his eyes but stayed where he was. “Come on Stevie just cuddle me you big lug.”

      “You want me to cuddle you?” His voice was still coming out too soft and Steve was ready to gouge his eyes out for how pathetic he must sound.

      “Yeah Stevie now move it, I’m not getting any younger.”

      “So demanding.” He said with an overdramatic sigh and eyeroll, like he was so putout by this request, but it made Bucky laugh and seemed to add levity to the situation. He quickly rolled over towards Bucky and buried his face in his chest, right over his heart so he could hear it beating. He quickly brought his arms to wrap around Bucky’s frame so that he was tucked up against him an essentially a giant hug.

      “There you go punk, now was that so fucking hard?”

      “Jerk.” Was all Steve managed to mumble before he was drifting to sleep. Right before he went under completely though, he could’ve sworn he felt a light warm pressure to the top of his head and a mumble that sounded a lot like I love you. Needless to say he went to sleep with a smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading I hope you liked the story ^_^  
> Again I would love if you would hit kudos and leave a comment.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as sicklysteeb and if there's a meet cute prompt you want me to write leave me a message in my ask box and I'll do it if I like it.


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